djerinyes:

[pm] I know you’re being sarcastic but I think you’d have a different tone if you knew just how much of a model citizen I was You know me. Paying taxes, crossing the street at the crosswalk, what’s something else not illegal being a guiding presence in the lives of many needy people. 

Good. You always look like you expect me to drug you and throw you into the trunk of my car at a moment’s notice when we talk. 

[pm] Very exemplary practices.

I wouldn’t say that.

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