emmadegarmo:

[pm] well shit you’re putting me on the spot. How about I text you one rando night like a booty call but its a ghosty call. Number: 

207-555-6574

Why? You’re a cop? So many cops around here! Narcs everywhere!
Brooklyn 99 is a godsend and is right about everything all the time. THANK YOUUUU.

Ooo! Girlfriend! Whose your girlfriend? How did you guys meet? How long have you been dating? How serious are you guys? Can I be your best man? I’d throw a kickass bachelor party. No strippers, I don’t enjoy the sight of men objectifying women, but lots of booze.

Dude you’re right. Why am I not playing dramatic music to my life all the time? It’d FIT! My life is a damn masterpiece, after all.
Aaaaaall the time, buddy. Twenty four/seven. I’m hella used to it though since it’s been happening since I was young and my mama helped me out with it. The world doesn’t seem crowded to me, it just seems normal.

[pm] I’d much prefer a ghostly call over a booty call, thank you. [user saves number to his phone then texts it: Hi. then, some seconds later: 🤓] 

Actually, Brooklyn Nin It’s funny, I’ll give it that, and because of that, it’s better than the other crime shows.

That’s a lot of ques Well, her name is Regan, she’s our medical examiner but she has a fill-in named Morty Rickers. We met… at work a little over a year ago. Outside of work, we went out to Bottomless Booty, a napkin dispenser was hurled at me by a ghost and then we went out for ice cream. We began dating the first day of February this year. Whoa, whoa, wait a second, we’re not getting married but I’m sure you’re our best man in some multiverse reality. There’s a chance you could be our best man in many universes, actually. Deirdre might 

What would your life’s theme song be? If you’re going with dramatic, Evanescence’s “Bring Me to Life” is very dramatic. That’s really cool, though. I always think about that, where everyone is and what the world looks like. Does it have its downsides?

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