[pm] Well first of all, 2016 hasn’t happened yet. It’s 1622, so that’s way off. How would I know what was gonna happen? I’m not a time traveler, you are! So you should know that snow leopards are the master race and people will bow down to them as they build their ice palaces to the tune of Billy Joel. Everyone knows snow leopards love Billy Joel. 

[pm] Oh, man

Why are snow leopards the master race? I, an uninformed human being, would like to know why snow leopards love Billy Joel. Ice palaces– This isn’t Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

What is your name?



Well that close to winter break, I would probably need to do review. I think I’ll stick with before thanksgiving. Half the class doesn’t show up anyway. I would hope that given how my students are in college they aren’t terrorizing houses.

Well I probably should’ve seen that coming. I’m not sure why you went to image search when we were talking about the sound they made but I guess its a hazard.

Definitely a bridge to cross when we get there and not before hand because yeah, definitely stressful.

Crime never stops and if they’re dedicated criminals with funds to waste, they might dabble in obscene activities. 

I used google search. Not google image search. I saw a video. [user contemplates linking video] [doesn’t]


[pm] You kissed Regan?! Are you the coworker that Deirdre could never stab anyone! You think she wants to stab you regularly? I didn’t think she hated you that much. But she seemed fairly happy to see me, even though she told me not to come over. She was fine around Loker, called him a cat and said his named was Susan, but she didn’t have any violent or bad reaction to him. Really she just ignored him until he came in the room when she collapsed. I’ll look into removing the knives and other sharp things when I visit today.

Uh, well… Last I checked he was pissed at me because he got to the beach first and I got there last, and he was eliminated. He also didn’t seem to be too happy that he got shocked by me something in the water but I was fine. Either way, I moved on to the semi finals and he did not.

What kind of circumstances are you talking about?

You could sedate them, I guess. But who knows what type of reaction they could have to more drugs. I’m sure I could ask Deirdre to come and we could take her to a doctor but… I don’t think she would like that very much. Being a Banshee and all. Regan can’t either because she’s a vampire

[pm] She thinks humans are inferior. Fae apparently think they’re a superior species in general and that humans are subpar, and I think she doesn’t like men. Or me, specifically me. But she’s a very proud banshee so she feels very passionately about banshee…politics. That’s interesting. And good, thank you Effie. Be careful.

That’s weird and doesn’t make sense– Okay, nevermind, it does– I think he was mad at Anna. She allegedly put stones in his pockets to weigh him down. I have to interview you–

Mostly manipulation-tactics. You said you doubted she would let you experiment on her so manipulation or coercion would be a tool used. But I don’t think either of us are inclined to actually do that, it’s something a morally corrupt person would do. 

Sedation is good. Deirdre or Zeke would be good contenders. We shouldn’t do this because it’s wrong– If they can willingly agree– Well, their state of mind is altered… I’d rather use someone who is dead but then there wouldn’t be brain activity– It would be like experimentation and we would be manipulating them so therefore we shouldn’t do any of that but I want to understand this. I mostly just want to know if drugs were involved.

Can you do a thorough sweep of her place for drugs and possibly even…magic things. Or anything out of the unordinary. Did you notice anything else unusual while you were with her last night aside from her behavior?


There is truth to that- I could try to work it in but we’ll see. I’ll have to pick it for a time where they need it the most- maybe right before thanksgiving when a lot of the kids aren’t focused on school cause they’re eager to get home.

I personally think its hilarious and not at all the kind of sound you would expect from a turtle. It shows in one of the games where their babies that he’s like a toddler sitting on the throne so I can’t imagine he has family but there could be that possibility. I would just assume that they would be as strict about the legitimacy of the offspring as any other monarchy.

Oh yeah well that’s the flip side of things. I’ve heard of many stories that they did but I guess you have to take that risk or involve a lawyer to make sure that everything plays out the way its meant to.

And Christmas. But Halloween is still good though… Of course, I think they’ll be busy mentally planning parties or what houses they’re gonna terrorize for the night.

I saw a turtle penis because of you and it looks like a messed up mushroom– Oakley, why did we start talking about turtle sex– I’m gonna Men In Black my memory after the google search I just did. Or go to the nearest eyewash station.

I hope we can avoid that when we decide to adopt children because going through all of that legal trouble is stressful thinking about.


[pm] The theory of Presentism– the theory that only the here and now actually exists. The present is the only reality. The past and the future do no exist, and only will when they become the present. It debunks the idea of time travel, but I think it has a nice philosophy. Live for the here and now, not mourning over what’s been done or what could happen. It helps make the future seem less bleak for me

I’m an anthropologist, so yes– I study humans. Well, they’re social behaviors, at least. 

Skinwalker folklore, I see. Interesting. Shapeshifters are quite complex creatures, but no matter what they are or what they transform into, they’re still human at some point. And what, pray tell, got you into that? 

[pm] I like that. It’s like the idea in some religions where there is no afterlife after death and that reincarnation isn’t possible. But then… It calls into question that those things could and do also exist presently with us, like ghosts and other inhabitants who have passed on – they’re apart of the “afterlife” but they’re presently existing with us, so the theory seems very complex the more it’s thought about or…the more outliers are considered. 

Right. I think you told me that and I forgot, I’m sorry. 

I think everyone is human. To an extent. Or, I can consider them humans even though they may not necessarily be but shapeshifters, as I’ve learned, as their own creation.

If you’re worried I got myself into more trouble, I didn’t. I began reading up on different culture’s folklore which branched off into other things… I started with South Korea because my mom is really versed in that and used to tell me all kind of stories when I was a kid; then I looked into more native ones. 



I never said I wanted to dominate the world.

I have the power of optimism. I have so much hope for the world. That’s a superpower in my book.

Okay, you’re right, you didn’t. But if you did want to dominate the world, why would you take the peaceful approach instead?

And is your book titled “The Power of Optimism”? Can I get a copy? 


[pm] She pulled a knife on you?? Maybe I shouldn’t have brought my dog with me… I don’t know, I don’t think she would ever hurt me. I’m picking her up food right now. I’m worried that she isn’t going to be eating. I’ll figure something out.

How do you buy a porch? Someone should go see him too… I’m not sure he would really want to see me after what happened during our event.

No, I knew that iron was bad. And no, I won’t experiment on her. I doubt she would let me.

Where do we get a body? We can’t use Deirdre. I don’t think she’d be stable enough to get to the machine. Also would a hospital let us use their machines? We would need Regan, wouldn’t we? Would she have access to that type of equipment?

[pm] Yeah, I told her I kissed Regan then she pulled a knife out on me. Which I think…is a normal reaction from her? It would have been, I’m not sure. I think she wants to stab me all the time but she refrains from doing so because that would potentially hurt Regan’s feelings? I think? It’s really confusing. How was she behaving around Loker? And if you give her food, just be careful. Maybe take all of the sharp objects away from her?

What happened during your pageant? Why would he not want to see you?

….Under the right circumstances, I bet she would. Did I really just say that?

I’m not sure. Maybe we could lure one of them in then knock them out with something. If we expressed our concern they might have a look? Regan would have connections but apparently she doesn’t have access to that kind of equipment. I could just kill someone and let her–


At this point I don’t think I have even the energy to get out of bed, let alone be the Queen of Sheba you all deserve. 

[user nearly chokes on his coffee] WHAT?! Another queen? That was a normal sentence until you said that. Did you have another four milkshakes this time, bud?



[pm] Then there’s nothing I want to talk to you about.

What in death’s name are you saying…? I live in the biggest house in Ashkent. I know you’re jealous but that’s no reason to destroy my gnomes…You didn’t give me this ring, Chris did. I love Chris and his great eyesight.

[user logs off]

[pm] I tried

[message read]